AI summary
Summary of article:
The article proposes five tips for dealing with people who like to interrupt and monopolize speech, including intervening quickly, transferring to others, personal reminders, agreeing on passwords, and seeking assistance from supervisors to maintain smooth team communication.
When someone around us talks incessantly and takes up all the conversation time, we usually have only two options: out of politeness, we can either swallow our anger and let him take control of the situation; Or we could bite the bullet and intervene, but that seems a little more arrogant or rude.
In response to this dilemma, Dory Clark, a communications strategy expert who teaches at Columbia Business School and Duke University, explained that we can gain control over the tone of a conversation without damaging the relationship, CNBC reported. Whether the other person is self-centered or simply unaware that they are monopolizing the floor, this behavior will hinder team communication and collaboration.
Clark proposes 5 simple and practical coping skills to help you regain the right to speak decently:
When the other person talks non-stop and leaves no room for conversation, you have to take the initiative. Choose a short and positive statement as an “entry point”, such as: “Awesome, Brad!”, “That’s perfect!” or “That’s a great idea!”, and then immediately flip: “I’d like to add to the point you just mentioned…”. A positive and enthusiastic tone can give you space to speak as well as reduce the other party’s alertness.
If you can’t stop the opponent on your own, you can break the deadlock through teamwork. First call the other person’s name to get their attention, agree with a certain thing they said, and then hand over control of the conversation to others. For example: “Brad, I’m glad you mentioned that author! Rita, I remember you read her book, right?” This approach not only acknowledges the other person’s contribution, but also naturally invites others to join the discussion.
Most people who talk a lot do so not with malicious intent, but out of habit. If the above immediate techniques cannot cure the problem, it is recommended to find an opportunity to communicate privately with the other party. You could say, “Brad, you have a lot of great ideas whenever you have a meeting, but I’ve also noticed that sometimes it’s hard for other people to consider them. I know you want to hear everyone’s opinions, so I want to remind you to leave some room for others next time.”
If the other party is aware of the problem and willing to repair it, but the problem is likely to reoccur during discussion, you may want to agree on a special password with them in advance. Whether it is a specific mantra, body language, or sending private messages in a video conference, it can remind the other party in a timely manner without pressuring him, and help him gradually build the ability of self-awareness.
If the other party refuses to accept harsh words, or the relationship between them is relatively distant and it is inconvenient to communicate directly, you can seek help from your supervisor. There is no need to deliberately target individuals when reporting problems, but instead focus on the overall performance of the team. For example: “Supervisor, I notice that sometimes someone stays too late to a meeting, preventing others from speaking fully. Can we talk about how to make sure everyone has a chance to express their views at the next meeting?” The supervisor takes the lead in setting norms, which can effectively improve the team communication environment without targeting anyone.
Summary FAQ
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Start with a short, positive entry sentence, such as “Awesome” or “This is perfect,” and then immediately add additional sentences of your own. This method not only gives you space to speak, but also reduces the chances of the other party getting angry.
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You can adopt the strategy of passing the ball to others, first confirm the other party’s content, and then name other members to join the discussion. This not only protects the other party’s face, but also naturally opens up opportunities for more people to speak.
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If there is no improvement through private communications and reminders, you can report it to your supervisor, but the focus should be on the blocked team communication rather than the individual. Having your supervisor establish meeting standards often improves the overall atmosphere.
